July 2012
wank-r:
i wonder if anyone has ever peed in the olympic pool
youngstero:
I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast
olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
me: falls on face trying to put socks on
“I like people who have a sense of individuality. I love expression and anything...”
– Marc Jacobs (via hippie-childd)
parasailin-sarahpalin:
using tumblr while someone is behind you is like russian roulette you don’t know whether the next post could be a cat or some japanese girl being shat on by an octopus
pedophile: i have candy get in the van
me: no
pedophile: the van has wifi
me: ok
psychotic-teens:
this was not how i was expecting to spend my teenage years
“I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.”
– Jon Stewart (via factualfeminist)
fuckyeahloldemort:
do you ever say something sarcastic and the person you said it to doesn’t understand that it’s a joke but you can’t be bothered explaining it so you just let them think you’re an asshole
“I believed that I wanted to be a poet, but deep down I just wanted to be a poem.”
– Jaime Gil de Biedma (via diluvie)
Me a few years ago: fake name fake location fake age fake dog name put on mask if someone asks for a picture change voice if calling someone
Me now: lol do u guys wanna know my blood type
“You don’t have any problems. Only this much has to be understood. This very...”
– Osho (via flentes)
“I don’t know you. The only thing I know about you is, you’re reading this. I...”
– Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down (via flentes)
If I die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me I will come back and fucking murder them.
“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their...”
– Friedrich Nietzsche (via flentes)
dysenterygay:
why is it that like 99.9% of girls look thin and cute in over sized shirts but i look like a beanbag
“Sometimes I wonder… will God ever forgive us for what we’ve done to each other?...”
– Charles Leavitt, Blood Diamond (2006)
ruhfresh:
i wanna know who decided it was ok to bleed out of your vagina
“‘Scared’ isn’t a good excuse! ‘Scared’ is the excuse everyone has always used.”
– John Green, Looking For Alaska (via larmoyante)
“Body cells replace themselves every month. Even at this very moment. Most...”
– Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase (via larmoyante)
“I think the easiest way to lose something is to want it too much.”
– John Dorian, Scrubs (via brokenpromisesanddbrokenhearts)
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